My guy said that he doesn't have a picture up and that his profile says he's "in a relationship" and "just there to help." I have to take his word for it, because I can't get online on friendster since I don't have a profile, and I don't want to check up on him. I don't want to snoop, I feel like that would cause more problems. The thing is, he didn't even invite me onto his network. He said cause he didn't want me worrying about the girl friends he has there. Is this a warning flag? In fairness to him, I'd expressed anxiety about some of his female friends before. But i'm getting help in therapy and I've been much better about it. Now I feel like he won't even give me a chance to prove myself and his defensiveness is starting to cause problems..
A few drinks?.
These guys truly don't understand how relationships work, and they certainly don't feel the need to be in one. Is this is a bsd thing? No. It just is. That's how they are, and it works for them. Not all 40-somethings are like this, however. Keep looking, if that's your desire, and you'll find someone. You may have to re-think the type you are attacted to. In my case, I always went for the alphas, and a single alpha in his 40's is very unlikely to commit without years of patient waiting on your part. A nice guy, good and solid beta type, may be someone who could form a good relationship with you. That said, I've found betas often leave a lot of the decision-making to other people. And unless you are prepared to be the strong one in your relationship, a beta might become really annoying..
As we say to everyone when a relationship ends, now is the time to work on you and take care of you..
Right...this is the thing. It isn't the specifics that bother him. In fact, the specifics he's pointing out probably don't bother him at all. He's simply finding "problems" in order to keep you under control, OP..
That means- not letting someone walk all over you while remaining passive and needy. Having self respect with boundaries is a good balance..
Young, energetic and ready to meet a nice woman..
My boyfriend is much more laid back. He is intelligent and he too put himself through school and earned a Ph.D. He hasn't worked a day in his field though, because it doesn't interest him, which he realized mid-way through, though yet finished it still, as his family expected him to. He has family money, so never really needed to work. He doesn't have many interests or anything that he would like to work on, make a profession or even a hobby of. He watches TV, is active on social media and plays computer games all day long. We don't have much in common to discuss professionally, though we find many other facets to connect on..